I didn't make them.
I did, however, TRY to make my own homemade marshmallows. I HAD to. Last week was a toughie. Several people I love were (are) dealing with major, earth-shattering crises, like life-and-death stuff, and I worried myself into quite a funk. I forgot to enjoy the blessings.
Side Note: Do you know that song by Dar Williams called "The Blessings"?
If you're gonna get your heart broke, you better do it just right,
It's gotta be raining, and you gotta move your stuff that night,
And the only friend you can reach isn't a good friend at all,
And you know when he says "Now who dumped who?"
that you never should have made that call.
I had the blessings, there's nobody there, there's nobody home,
Yeah, the blessings, at the moment I was most alone
And aimless as a fulltime fool, the joke was on me,
I got all those birds flying off of that tree, and that's a blessing.
And the blessings were like poets that we never find time to know,
But when time stopped I found the place where the poets go.
And they said, "Here have some coffee, it's straight, black and very old,"
And they gave me sticks and rocks and stars and all that I could hold,
I had the blessings, a moment of peace even when the night ends,
Yeah, the blessings, can we meet? Can we meet again,
At the crossroads of disaster and the imperfect smile,
With the angel in the streetlamp that blinks on as I walk on amile, the blessings.
And the best ones were the ones I got to keep as I grew strong,
And the days that opened up until my whole life could belong,
And now I'm getting the answers, when I don't need them anymore,
I'm finding the pictures, and I finally know what I kept them for,
I remember, I can see them, see them smiling, see them stuck,
See them try, I wish them luck and all the blessings...
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't believe a good marshmallow fixes all that's wrong with the world. It can't heal someone who is facing life-threatening illness or job loss or any other of the dozens of heartbreaks that enter our reality here on this broken earth. But when you're depressed, nothing tastes good. Everything is dull. And that's how I felt for a few days. Dull. Numb. I sort of mentally crawled into a hole and whimpered.
And when I crawled out, I had an insatiable craving for marshmallows. GOOD marshmallows. We have a bag of Jet-Puffed in the pantry and I plopped a couple into my mug of Ghirardelli hot cocoa and was sorely disappointed in the flavor.
I remembered I had recently seen a tutorial over on Prudent Baby to make your own. I seemed to recall the words "easy" and "anyone can do it!" You know how making stuff is therapeutic for me, so of course I tried it. But you also know I'm not one for precise measuring and following directions, so it's no wonder my marshmallows turned out like this:
My first mistake, I believe, was trying to make them with vegan gelatin. But really, the errors are too many to count. I didn't use a candy thermometer. I used dark corn syrup instead of light. I stopped the whole process halfway through to feed the kids a snack and change Miles' diaper, and I let B stir in the sugar and can't be sure she didn't add a few extra cups.
All in all, it was a DIY FAIL.
Yet, I still craved marshmallows. So I bought some delicious ones at Whole Foods. And the world does seem a little brighter. I'm ready to focus on the blessings again.
P.S. I love when you guys comment, so please tell me about some of your kitchen failures. If you do, I might come back online and tell you about the time I set the spaghetti on fire.